I had no idea what to expect, but I did know that I wanted to record our meeting, which I should have done the first two times.
The assistant dean greeted me with a warm handshake and a friendly smile. I still wasn't buying it. I asked her if I could record our meeting and she declined, saying that she wasn't comfortable being recorded, but that she didn't mind if I took notes and that she would sign her name after whatever notes I wanted to take. I was a little dismayed, but I can't record without her permission. Before we got started, I asked her to read the one-page letter that I had typed up. I did this to make sure that it was read, because I was almost certain that Jan had thrown my last letter into the trash as soon as I had walked out the door.
April 9th, 2012
Despite my attempts to resolves my issues within the nursing department, I have found my actions to be fruitless and decided to seek assistance elsewhere.*
During my first attempt at NSG 222, my
instructor, Molly Roll, asked me why my test score was so low on the first
test. In an attempt to hide my true feelings, I blamed the stimulant shortage
and informed her that I have ADHD. She asked me tell her when I got my
prescription refilled. I did. The second test was not any better, and I told my
instructor that I felt that many of the questions were too vague or poorly
written. In subsequent test reviews, she agreed with many of my statements regarding
particular questions. After the course ended, I and two of my peers scheduled
meetings with Joseph Giardullo. This was recommended by another student and I
had talked with Joseph before when I learned that Mary Cox was miscounting when
calculating test grades. He was very nice and informative at that time and
referred me to Marcia Miller, who was the current chairperson at that time. The
purpose of my meeting was to discuss testing practices and the inability of
students to ask questions during the test. My peers wanted to complain about
the instructor. He had my file pulled, and instead of listening to my concerns,
he went on to try to convince me that I was incompetent. He did not do this
with my peers, and they left their meetings satisfied. During my meeting with
Joseph, I also voiced my concerned that the Disaster Preparedness course was
teaching students that if someone is to get any kind of chemical in their eyes,
they should rinse the substance out for 10-15 seconds, up to a minute. I think that
this is dangerous to teach students and told him so, citing that the CDC,
Poison Control, Mayo Clinic, ect. say to rinse for at least 10-15 minutes, if
not longer.
Shortly after my meeting with Joseph I
received a call for reinstatement, despite the committee not having met yet. I
was put in Kathleen Shipley’s section. Everything was okay until I challenged
my first question. She wouldn’t even listen to my rationale. After that, she
made every effort to intimidate me, even going as far as making comments about
my ADHD, which I had not disclosed to her. After the final exam, she really
“let loose” on me in her office. She said ( or yelled, rather) that I was unsafe to administer
Heparin (even though I had done it just fine in clinical and before her class),
my care plans weren’t specific enough to my patient, my med recall was
terrible, and that a few weeks beforehand, my partner and I didn’t ask for a
med reconciliation form. She said that it was HIPPA and that it was a patient safety
issue and that it was a big deal that we didn’t ask for it. I told her that we
assumed that there wasn’t one because it wasn’t in our stack of papers. The
real question is, if it was such a huge patient safety issue, why didn’t she
say anything when it happened rather than wait until the last day of class? That
was an issue 3 weeks ago and I had other patients after that. Was she going to
let us keep making the same mistake over and over again?
Right after the heparin comment, I started to say, "You....”
She then goes, "There you go... blaming others. You can't even take
responsibility for your own mistakes". Had she listened to me, she would
have known that I was just going to say that I was confused because she kept
repeating "HIPPA" over and over again in the med room at clinical. It
wasn't until a few minutes later that I realized that she was talking about my
performance exam, which isn't really even fair because she went out of her way
to intimidate me during my check-off.
I was allowed to look at
my final and ask questions about it. At question three, she yells, “I’m not
going to sit here and argue with you about this. If you want to know because
you want to know than fine, but….” Nonetheless, nothing she said hurt as much
as when she told me that I needed to find a new career, because I wasn’t good
enough to be a nurse. I’ve never felt so broken-hearted in my life.
She watched me struggle to close the door and
kept on in her rampage. Other students in the building repeatedly walked by her
door to see what was going on. I did not receive a proper evaluation, and did
not get a chance to read the small piece of paper that I had signed. I was
humiliated.
Shortly after, I made appointment with
Jan Mains. She also ignored my concerns and went on to convince me that I was
incompetent. I would like to believe that others outside of the nursing
department aren’t aware that this going on. I can live with myself for failing
nursing school, but I can’t live with myself for standing by and doing nothing.
I have already filed a complaint with the Ohio Civil Rights Commission.
Students should not learn that “Nurses eat their young” in nursing school. We
all take this program very seriously, and pay tuition not only to learn and
correct our mistakes, but to also be treated with dignity and respect.
Sincerely,
She asked questions and took notes as she read my letter. She was very attentive and professional throughout the entire meeting, yet I still wasn't able to see my tests. I was happy with how the meeting went, mostly because she kept reiterating to me that she "highly encouraged" me to apply for divisional reinstatement, even if it only let others know what was going on within the nursing department. She was very good at being neutral, which I appreciated. After leaving the meeting, I knew that I had to put together a good case. I was emotionally exhausted, and had no idea about where to begin. The next two months were tortuous, and keeping my head above water was the hardest task that I had ever taken on.
Next post: Oh where, oh where, is all of my hair?
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