Five Weeks in Hell

NSG 222- My instructor was nice. She had incredibly high expectations, and we did our best to meet them. I actively participated in class. Although I could speak the content pretty good and could recite my meds fairly fluently during med recall, I was still failing the tests. It was incredibly frustrating. My instructor was very good about going over my tests with me. After the first test, I started to challenge the questions. In some cases I was just wrong, but in other cases my instructor would tell me that she thought that they threw this question out or that question out. Other times it would take her six times to read the question and try to figure out what it was asking, the same number of times that it took me. A few times she even told me that I was right, but the answer that I had chosen wasn’t the one that they were looking for. I asked her if they could keep the scrap paper that we get in the testing center to write down rationale if we have any problems. She told me that they couldn’t do that. I was really frustrated. I felt hopeless. My demeanor completely changed. I honestly felt that I had a handle on the content and that the questions were too vague. Our entire class looked as if they had been to war. Everyone was struggling.  Many of us went back to school after clinical to learn EKGs because we didn't feel that we knew them well enough to be tested on. J* was a lab faculty member and she is the only reason that we knew EKGs at all. Not only did she teach us EKGs, she would also talk about the content with us. On one day we were in the lab discussing the content that we were about to be tested on when another NSG 222 told us that what we had learned was wrong. We told her that Molly said that what we were saying was right, and she said, "Well, you can tell Molly that what I said is right and she can call me about it if she has any problems with it".We all had power points from another instructor and used those as well.  There were some discrepancies, which unfortunately contributed to some missed questions. I can’t argue another instructor’s notes. Even though I think it would be terribly disrespectful to do so, it was still unsettling that there were so many discrepancies, considering that all the students were given the same test questions. I did good on my EKG test, earning 9.5 out of 10 points. I did have to take my math test a second time. For check-offs, I had to redo my IV push and scenario. The only test that I did pass was the final, which I only got an 85% on. My instructor’s biggest issue with me was my process tool (care plan). I did try very hard to navigate Epic (the hospital's charting/ communication system) and find all of my information. Epic was new to me (I had never been to a clinical site that used it and neither does my work) and we didn’t have a lot of time to find things, so I did have missing data. She also had issues with my plan of care. At the Atrium, patients don’t stay for very long and my patients were always scheduled to leave that day or the next. With that in mind, my interventions were only those that reflected their current state of health, not their admitting diagnosis. Once I figured out that my instructor wanted a plan of care based on the disease and not the patient, she was much happier and told me that she was very impressed with my care plan and the improvement that I had made. Had I known that earlier, I would have done just that. In regards to my missing data, I refuse to make something up just to fill in the blank. I’ve been advised by other students to do so and that the instructors didn’t know the difference, but for me it comes down to integrity. I don’t want to get in the habit of thinking that it’s okay to make up stuff I don’t know. I don’t think that it’s a quality that a good nurse possesses.  
My instructor was aware that I had ADHD. In the beginning of the quarter, I had told her that I was having trouble getting my prescription filled due to a drug shortage, which was true, but mostly an attempt to hide my true feelings towards the test questions. She was very understanding and seemed like she cared a lot. I did everything that I possibly could, but I still ended up failing the course by about 7 or 8 points. I felt like I was not only a failure as student, but a failure as a mom as well. My kids spent many nights away from home for nothing. It truly broke my heart. My only saving grace was knowing that I wasn’t the only one having issues. Students who usually earned A's were struggling to get a B, and some were even struggling to maintain a C. Two, possibly three other students failed in a class of nine. This is NOT typical for students who are so close to graduating. Not to mention, NSG 222 has an incredibly HIGH failure rate (more on that later), which I was not aware of at the time. Once the grades were posted, it was official: I was holding my family back once again. In talking with my peers afterwards, I and two other students thought that it would be a good idea to talk to someone about NSG 222. It definitely turned out NOT to be helping hand that I was looking for.

Next post: Meeting with Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde

A (Very) Brief History of Events

Fall 2011- NSG 221, NSG 222, Cardiac Rehabilitation (Elective), and Disaster Preparedness (Elective)

At this point in the program, we have two classes each quarter. Each course is five weeks long.

1st five weeks- NSG 221 (Psychiatric Nursing)- Interesting but uneventful. I also took Cardiac Rehabilitation because I thought that it would be beneficial for NSG 222... not so much :)

Disaster Preparedness- This was a one day course that lasted seven hours. The instructor for this course, Sharon, is also a Preceptor for the nursing program. About an hour into the lecture, she stated that if you get any kind of chemical in your eye, you only need to flush your eyes for 10-15 seconds. WHAT? Did I just hear that right? I honestly would have let it go if it weren't for the fact that it was on her PowerPoint presentation as well. So of course, I raise my hand:
Me- "Excuse me, but did you mean 10-15 minutes?
Sharon- "No, 10-15 seconds is long enough to flush the eyes."
Me- "Ummm... it's just that every bathroom cleaner that I've ever read has said to flush the eyes for 10-15 minutes and I'd have to assume that your eyes would still be closed for the first 10-15 seconds while they're trying to adjust to the pressure of the water."
Sharon- "Well, it's 10-15 seconds, up to a minute. It depends on the chemical. I'm getting my doctorate in this and if Dayton is ever involved in any kind of disaster, I'm one of the first responders. I've given this presentation to my peers and they all loved it."

WHAT??? If she is one of the first responders, I want to be as far away from Dayton as possible. She's going to kill somebody. I was under the assumption that the eye washing thing was common sense... some sources even say to flush for 20 minutes or longer. I looked at my friend sitting next to me who has a degree in chemistry. He said, "You're right, she's retarded. I'm not even listening". I followed suit. At that point, I didn't believe anything that she had said anyway.

You might not understand why this is such a big deal, so allow me to explain: YOU COULD GO BLIND!!! There's a reason that labs have eyewash stations. Even restaurants have eyewash stations. Almost as bad as the negligent teaching is the fact that she gave this presentation to her peers and no one corrected her. Seriously? Adding insult to injury, there were so many spelling and grammar errors. Her peers must not like her very much. I was under the assumption that this information was common sense, and that surely there had been a time in her life where something got in her eye and she had to stand over the sink until her back couldn't take it anymore. If not, she really dodged a bullet because as soon as your eye stops hurting, your back starts hurting. It's just one vicious cycle.

Unfortunately, this course is very popular. It fills up quickly on registration day because there are questions on the N-CLEX that pertain to the course's subject matter. I don't know how long she's been teaching that course, but if even one student walks away from that class thinking that 10-15 seconds of flushing is adequate technique after an exposure, it's one too many. As a nursing student, I get calls all of the time for medical advice. People get chemicals and debris in their eyes all of the time. It's not a rare occurrence.

Not only is this negligence harmful to the community, it's harmful to the student. If my patient gets a hazardous chemical in their eye and I tell them to only flush for 10-15 seconds, I can't blame my instructor for my patient's resulting blindness. I will lose my license and the remainder of the settlement award that's not covered by my liability insurance will force me into bankruptcy. Thanks, Sharon!


2nd five weeks- NSG 222 (Cardiac)- There were nine students in my class, myself included. Of the remaining eight, there was only two that I'd never met before. The night before registration we had a huge storm that knocked out the power. We were lucky that we were safe and unharmed, because just down the street there were homes and apartment building that had whole roofs blown off. My laptop was dead so my awesome friend/ neighbor let me borrow her laptop so that I could mooch off of McDonalds' wi-fi and register. Low and behold, the rest of the world was there to mooch the wi-fi, too. Fantastic. By the time I actually got to sit down and log on, it was 10:01 AM. That might not seem like a big deal, but it is. One minute is the difference between your first choice and having to rearrange your entire life because you got stuck with night classes. Registration for nursing courses at my school is odd. In order to prevent students that are not in the program from registering for nursing courses, our classes are only open for registration for about three days. We get a letter in the mail detailing times and dates, like it's some covert mission to recover stolen art. Due to this, every student in the program registers at the same time.The whole process makes you want to gouge your eyes out. Long story short (no pun intended!), I had to be manually registered by the secretary of the nursing department. I wasn't happy that I was in this section. Our clinical site was out in the boondocks. It was almost mandatory that you had to take I-75 to get there, or a forty-five minute drive would become an hour and a half road trip- only without any company. For those of you who don't know, I-75 south is under some major construction. Not only does it play host to the world's most terrible drivers, portions of the highway do not have any kind of lighting before dawn. Long portions. One of my idiosyncrasies is that I think that I'm going to die while I'm driving on the highway.Clinical started at 7:30 AM and my kid's daycare didn't open until 6:30 AM, so clinical days were always a nightmare. During the first week of clinical, Sharon (who taught Disaster Preparedness) came into the room that we were in. My instructor, Molly, introduced her to our class and told us that Sharon was a Preceptor and that we have her for NSG 230. One student who lived nearby said that she would like to have Sharon as a Preceptor. I must've had some kind of look on my face because Molly smiled and said, "What's that look for, Susie?" Well, I'm an adult and I'm entitled to my opinion. Had I known that my next statement would be interpreted as a threat, I would have just kept my mouth shut (more on that later!). I said, "It's just hard for me to take her seriously. Not only can she not spell, she thinks that a chemical exposure to the eyes only warrants a 10-15 second flush. I mean, I make spelling and grammar errors all of the time, but I don't have an audience that I'm trying to impress, either. With so many errors, I have to assume that she just doesn't care... that and I don't want to go blind." We all laughed and packed up our stuff to leave. After that, I didn't laugh again for weeks. Life was miserable.

Next post- Five weeks of Hell

I May Have Lost the Battle...

I am a college student. Not just any college student, a nursing student. I go to a community college in Ohio that has a nursing program with an outstanding reputation. It is very hard to get into it and it is extremely hard to keep up with the amount of work involved. My program has a modified grading scale, meaning that is not based on the standard grading scale where 70% is a "C". Our lowest "C" is an 80%. This means that if a student ends the course with a 79%, they fail. If a student fails, they have to put in an application for reinstatement. After that, the reinstatement committee votes on whether or not the student can continue on in the program. As a student, you are only afforded this opportunity once. Sounds reasonable, right? It's a little harsh, but it does make for some safe nurses in the community, right? Well...maybe. The sad, ugly truth is that some of these nursing professors have huge ideas of grandeur. Their tenure makes them invincible and they will go out of their way to do damage control for one another. Simply put, they care more about their peers than they do their patients. Many of them haven't actually practiced nursing in years, yet they are the ones teaching students how to care for people. They walk all over students who voice their opinions or concerns, to the point that students not dare speak up about anything for the fear of being "targeted" or "red-carded".

I have been "red-carded".

Unfortunately for them, they mistook my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance, and my kindness for a weakness. I always treat others with respect, even if I want to dig their eyes out with a rusty fork. I don't care who you are: the President, the mailman, or the crack-head down the street. I will always treat you with respect. I have followed the chain of command outlined in my student handbook. I have suffered through meetings in which the main goal is to convince me that I'm incompetent. Nice try, but I can't be that stupid if I'm three quarters away from graduating. It only takes one person to make a change.

They may have won the battle, but...